I smell stomach acid.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
