So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
