If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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