he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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