It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
