the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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