If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
