Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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