I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize