You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
