The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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