You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
