return my video game
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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