Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
