Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
