mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
