Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
