What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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