They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
