my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
