so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So much rum. So many feels.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
