im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
