margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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