this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
