the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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