At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
