We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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