My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
