But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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