Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize