I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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