the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
they need to just BURY HIM!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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