Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Operation Purity has been aborted
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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