babies were throwing up all over the place
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
