I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize