Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
