I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
