I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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