I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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