I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just want nice things and good sex
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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