ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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