Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize