Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
