The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
