Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
