id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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