Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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