Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping

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(310): View more from California

Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(616): View more from Michigan

you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs

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(816): View more from Missouri

You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip

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