I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
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