you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
