You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
