Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
