At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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