I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
