I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just want to make out with him forever
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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