just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
