dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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