you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
