As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
